July 17, 2003 -  SAN DIEGO, CA -  He's back in town and ready to celebrate once again..

President George W. Bush put the flight suit back on and took back to the air, landing top gun style aboard the USS Lincoln again.  Behind him, the same sign as before, "Mission Accomplished."  The victory:  the successful end of the Palestinian/Israeli conflict.

"Well," said the President to the crew that packed the deck of the aircraft carrier, "I sent this ol' ship back out to sea, and rounded you all back up for a wonderful, monumental reason.

"A couple of months back, we stood here and celebrated the victorious end of Operation Iraqi Freedom.  Since that time, we have been losing almost a soldier a day - and that's just the ones that are killed.  When I counted the number of wounded, add them to the 40-plus that have died since I gave that victory speech aboard this very ship, I realized the Palestinian/Israeli conflict is currently less deadly that Operation Iraqi Freedom.  And since I had no problem rushing out to get that "victory" photo op to use for my campaign fundraising - even while our men and women are still being killed in Iraq - I figured I might as well come back and get some great pictures of me celebrating the successful end of the Palestinian Israeli conflict, ignoring the reality that it is still a war going on over there.

"Think about it," the President urged his captive audience, "how much money can I get for claiming to end the Palestinian/Israeli conflict that has gone on... well... you know, for a long time.  All the Jews will rush to give me money, and probably other people, too, and maybe I'll even get the Nobel.  And if anyone doubts the Palestinian/Israeli conflict is over, I can just say, 'Hey, look right I here, I have the photos from my victory speech - 'Mission Accomplished' sign and all - to prove it.

The President added, "And if that doesn't work, I'll just tell them we found the Weapons of Mass Destruction, either in Israel or the West Bank, or whereever it is we claimed they existed this time."

When one of the members of the media on board tried to suggest that the Palestinian/Israeli conflict was as heated as ever, the President bristled.

"Didn't you hear me?  Fewer people are being hurt and killed there than in Iraq at the moment.  So if I claimed the Iraq war was over and people bought it, why don't you think they will buy this one?

"And why are you questioning me anyway," he added.  "You're just supposed to report what I say.  Anything else makes you unpatriotic.  Doesn't it?" he asked of the servicemen and women behind him.

As he was their Commander-in-Chief, they were forced to agree loudly.

"So, what are we waiting for?" asked the President.  "Lock that big-mouthed reporter up and take him to Guantanamo Bay.  We can keep him there indefinitely.  See how well I protect the nation from the un-American types that seek to destroy us?"

The crowd cheered, and the President walked off and mingled for a while, until the roll of film recording the event was finished off.